Even if you are not someone you’d consider a “workaholic”, it’s likely that those you spend the most time with (be it in-person or virtual) are your coworkers. This can often mean that the relationships you are building at work, are significant. With that said, it’s important to understand how to set the stage for positive relationships. While there are nuances specific to working cancer patients and survivors, the foundation of positive relationship building at work is relatively the same.

An article from Idealist.org outlines a guide to establishing positive rapport and genuine relationships with your colleagues. According to “The Workplace Therapist”, Brandon Smith, work relationships are directly tied to happiness at work. Smith points out the importance of trust in the workplace relationship and provides a simple formula for a positive relationship:

Trust = (authenticity + vulnerability) x credibility.

To break this down a bit, credibility can be improved and built upon by being reliable – this includes being responsive, organized, and completing your work on time. Vulnerability in the workplace can look a bit different than in one’s personal life. At work, this can be done by asking for help when needed and/or admitting when you don’t know something. Finally, authenticity can be crucial to establishing a positive relationship. This can be something simple such as showing up for someone who is having a tough time, or admitting when you’ve made a mistake.

While the approach to building a positive relationship in the workplace can look similar to relationship-building in your personal life, it’s important to keep it appropriate in the context of the workplace. Keeping conversations focused more on work-related topics, unless there is a mutual expressed interest in discussing more personal topics. Boundaries are a really important aspect of positive relationships at work. Smith describes this as professional intimacy – getting to know your colleague beyond surface-levels, while also respecting their privacy and boundaries. Setting your own boundaries at work can feel stressful, Cancer and Careers’ upcoming Virtual West Coast Conference on Work & Cancer will have a session on boundaries and what they look like in the workplace – be sure to register so you can join us on Saturday, October 25! Also be sure to take a look at our article on Setting Professional Boundaries.

A major relationship component is communication. The way we express ourselves greatly impacts the impression of us by those around us, so it’s important to understand the how and why of your own personal communication and how to be most effective. For guidance on communication in the workplace, including factoring in disclosure decisions and setting boundaries, check out our Balancing Work & Cancer two-part webinar on Communicating Effectively. Additional information and guidance on disclosure can be found in the Sharing the News section of our website. 

If you're struggling with what to say and how to say it in the workplace, know that Cancer and Careers is here for you. Whether you need help preparing for an interview or are anxious about a disclosure conversation, we're happy to hop on the phone with you to practice and prepare you. Reach out to cancerandcareers@cew.org to set up a phone call.