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Home > Collective Diary > I feel ... OK. I wish I felt better but I just ...

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I feel ... OK. I wish I felt better but I just ...

0-1Months

Corrina L. on July 15, 2009

I was Diagnosed with:

Anal Cancer

Employment Status:

Employed: Full Time

Gender/Age:

37

Type and Description of Treatments:

How do you feel today?

I feel ... OK. I wish I felt better but I just don't. I still can't sleep. I worry too much and it affects my time at work.

Since the diagnosis, what has changed in your life?

Nothing much has changed in my life. Except the medication and medical bills! I still have to come to work every day, I still have to take care of my son every day. I still have to function as normally as possible every day.

What is going well for you right now?

My good days are good. Today I am not sick and feel like having some lunch.

What is not going well for you right now?

I still have only told people who "need to know". Which are only a few people. My husband, of course, my boss, my best friend, and one of my close co-workers. I haven't told my parents and I haven't told my sisters. I would get 45 worried calls a day from all of them and I don't want to talk about it all day every day.

What has been the most challenging thing about having cancer?

Trying not to let it take over my whole life. Going on with my daily life.

When difficulties overwhelm you, where do you go for support?

I internalize most of the issues. I don't want to talk about it.

How have your long-term goals or life goals changed since diagnosis?

At this point, they have not been changed. I will see after my exam on July 31.

What is your work arrangement right now? What are your hours?

8-5 Monday thru Friday.

Since the diagnosis, what has changed in your work life?

Hard to concentrate, hard to get up in the morning, so I'm always late. Have had to work at home a couple of days. I know my boss is getting tired of it.

What has helped you continue to work the most?

To help keep my mind off of my situation.

What advice do you have for others trying to work through treatment?

It helps to keep working, so you're not thinking about it 24/7.

How have you dealt with any side effects of treatment?

The days I have to take my chemo meds, I get sick and I can't eat for a day or two.

If "today's you" could give advice to "day-of-diagnosis you," what would you say?

I knew I had it the day I was diagnosed. I was prepared for the news. My biggest fear is when I go back to the dr on July 31 and possibly finding out that it has come back or they have found more.

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