If your employee approaches you regarding his or her illness, it’s natural to feel uncertain about how to best respond. However it’s important for you to know what to say – and what not to say. Here are some general guidelines that should help make your conversations with your employee easier and more productive.

As an employer, you have the right to know about disabilities that will affect your employee’s performance. But be aware that privacy rights vary greatly from state to state. Your HR or legal departments should be able to guide you on the limitations of state and federal privacy mandates. If in doubt, err on the side of caution. Even if you have a personal relationship with the employee, think twice about asking about specifics.

Setting the stage

Remember, opening a line of strong, meaningful communication usually requires a comfortable environment, which can be difficult to achieve in a corporate setting. Some strategies for setting the stage for a thoughtful, relaxed exchange.

Pick the place: Don’t try to catch a moment on the fly, in the office hallway or lunchroom. Situations like these don’t afford the privacy and focus you’ll need to approach the matter professionally. Find a private place where you can sit comfortably and talk without distraction or interruptions, if possible.

Get in your right mind: Take a few moments to prepare. Review what your legal counsel has advised and be prepared to do far more listening than asking. You’ll learn more of what you need to know by listening – and won’t have to worry about violating privacy with tricky questions.

Focus: Make sure you and you’re employee are fully focused on the conversation at hand. That means putting aside any and all other activities and, if possible, avoiding interruptions and phone calls. And if your employee doesn’t seem up to talking, reschedule.

Active listening

Cancer patients often say the most important thing others can do for them is to truly listen. It’s also the best way for you to glean information without having to worry about what you can and cannot ask. A good listener encourages the speaker to elaborate and continue without you having to prompt for specifics. A technique called Active Listening is a very concrete, pro-active form of listening and responding that aims to put the focus on the speaker. Here are some tips for practicing active listening:

• Focus on your employee. Pay close attention to what he or she’s telling you. Don’t interrupt.
• Acknowledge his or her points. You don’t have to agree or disagree with what he or she is telling you. Just encourage him or her to continue by nodding, saying “yes,” and letting him or her know you’re listening.
• Respond thoroughly and clearly. When your employee asks questions, answer specifically and thoroughly, and then let them continue on with the conversation at their own pace.
• Reassure and reinforce. Don’t interpret; just reiterate what is being said. You can also reinforce your employee’s trust by letting him or her know how much his or her confidences mean to you.
• Summarize. At the end of the conversation, review some of the key points or concerns your employee made. The purpose is to make sure both of you feel at ease and have a clear understanding of the situation at hand.